That’s right folks; the same team that brought you Boltvault Bog Roll now offers you this unique receptacle to wipe away those wanking worries!

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The Boltvault Wank-Away Masturbation System

Ergonomically designed for the left or right-handed wrister, the Wank-Away Masturbation System’s pioneering design has been secretly tested, is fully endorsed by scientists at NASA and will feature on all future space missions.

Constructed from the same material as the space suits worn by NASA astronauts, the Wank-Away Masturbation System is coated with Boltvault Engineering’s secret sheen which gives it a smooth-as-silk finish enhancing masturbation for wankers of varying degrees from the novice to the professional wanker and even the IT programmer.

The Wank-Away also boasts an impressive filtering system which allows the post-ejaculatory baby gravy to be absorbed into it before slowly evaporating via Boltvault Engineering’s patented Spunk-Be-Gone Chemical Conditioning System. The result; the smoothest stroke you’ll ever have with no residue and no unsightly stains.

But don’t just take our word for it. Here’s the first man on the Moon, US astronaut Captain Neil Armstrong to tell us more.

Image of Astronaut Neil Armstrong

“As thrilled as I was to be the first man on the Moon, I know I would have felt better for a wank.”

‘As thrilled as I was to be the first man on the Moon, I know I would have felt better for a wank, but in 1969 we were still in the early stages of space discovery. However, thanks to Boltvault Engineering and their revolutionary design combined with the talents of our team here at NASA, the astronauts of tomorrow will have the opportunities on future space missions that I never had. God bless you Boltvault.’ – Capt. Neil Armstrong, astronaut and legend.

So wave goodbye to your wanking woes and say hello to the Boltvault Wank-Away Masturbation System – must-have for the 21st century wanker!

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