United Duo In Champions League Blow

Hot on the heels of last weeks Champions League controversy, Manchester United duo Wayne Rooney and Christiano Ronaldo are the latest players set to face the music after pictures were released of the pair doing more than simply bonding as team mates.

Our exclusive picture shows the pair celebrating their 4-1 win over Arsenal by apparently indulging in fellatio on the Old Trafford pitch. As the rest of the team took part in their post match exercises, Rooney, 45, and Ronaldo, 3, had their own warm down.

Players and staff alike looked on in shock as the Portuguese ace, no stranger to dropping to his knees on the pitch, knelt down and administered a peel and polish to team mate and Shrek look-a-like Rooney.

One member of the squad who asked not to be named said “It was mental. Ronny just walked over, winked and started sucking his stick like Kojack’s last lollipop. The Gaffer’s going to go mad about this.”

The incident was soon over though as an incensed member of the United ground staff spotted the pair and, concerned about the effects of untreated baby gravy on the genetically modified turf, ran onto the pitch brandishing a pitch fork. ‘It’s just like dog piss’ claimed Bert Trousers, a 30 year veteran of the Old Trafford groundskeeping staff. “It turns the ruddy grass brown. You should have seen the mess Besty left after a night on the sauce with the local ladies darts team from The Feathers. Looked like a Giraffes arse.”

While UEFA would not comment on the alleged act, United boss Sir Alex Fergusonattempted to play down the situation. “Och it’s nothing” said the red-nosed, plonk swigging borderline alchy. “It’s just a method the Portuguese use to help their team mates warm down. Eusabio did it all the time mon.”

At the United training ground this morning Ronaldo refused to answer questions relating to the incident as he was still sulking after being subbed at the weekend. Instead, he was seen being dragged to a waiting car kicking and screaming and demanding more rusks. And a nap. Probably.

Rooney too was unavailable for comment as he was off nicking hub cabs in a car park in central Manchester.