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	<title>Boltvault &#187; Boltvault News</title>
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	<link>http://www.boltvault.com</link>
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		<title>DR. QUIMM&#8217;S GUIDE TO KNOWING YOUR POO</title>
		<link>http://www.boltvault.com/dr-quimms-guide-to-knowing-your-poo</link>
		<comments>http://www.boltvault.com/dr-quimms-guide-to-knowing-your-poo#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 26 Jan 2010 21:37:57 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Boltvault Admin</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Boltvault News]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Dr Quimm]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Bill Murray]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Bum Gravy]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Chemical Ali]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Deidre Barlow]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Ghost]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Guinness]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Home Alone]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Iraq]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Kurds]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Log Flume]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Macauley Culkin]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Mr. Whippy]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Orgasm]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Paxo]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Sea Wolf]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Submarine]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[The Sun]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Usain Bolt]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[World War II]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.boltvault.com/?p=1840</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Hi, I’m resident Boltvault physician Dr. Julian Quimm and welcome to the first of my series of medical missives designed to help you recognise the tell-tale signs of illness or injury.
In my surgery today, I’m going to teach you a valuable lesson; a lesson which could save you hours of pain, suffering and embarrassment.
Put quite [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://www.boltvault.com/dr-quimms-guide-to-knowing-your-poo/feed</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>MOUSE HELD ON CELEBRITY HAIR THEFT CHARGES</title>
		<link>http://www.boltvault.com/mouse-held-on-celebrity-hair-theft-charges</link>
		<comments>http://www.boltvault.com/mouse-held-on-celebrity-hair-theft-charges#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 20 Jan 2010 10:23:24 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Boltvault Admin</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Boltvault News]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Celebrity]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Bruce Forsythe]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Brucie]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[celebrities]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Heathrow]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[L'oreal]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Play your cards right]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[You bet]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.boltvault.com/?p=1811</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[By our man down the nick, John Bollocks
Police have today apprehended a mouse at Heathrow airport on charges of theft and the suspected trafficking of celebrity human hair. Bertram Mouse, 24 of no fixed abode was arrested by airport police acting on a tip-off as he attempted to board a flight to Kazakhstan, reputedly a [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://www.boltvault.com/mouse-held-on-celebrity-hair-theft-charges/feed</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>WOMEN MORE LIKELY TO GIVE BIRTH THAN MEN &#8211; OFFICIAL</title>
		<link>http://www.boltvault.com/women-more-likely-to-give-birth-than-men-official</link>
		<comments>http://www.boltvault.com/women-more-likely-to-give-birth-than-men-official#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 15 Jan 2010 11:38:59 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Boltvault Admin</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Boltvault News]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Arnold Schwarzenegger]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Cambridge]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Dr Quimm]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Ghostbusters]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Hollywood]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Ivan Reitman]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[John Bollocks]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Junior]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[pregnancy]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[University]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.boltvault.com/?p=1759</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[By our man in the delivery room, John Bollocks
A new study undertaken by Cambridge University to be published next week claims that women are a staggering 100% more likely to give birth than men.  The study which was commissioned by the British Medical Association (BMA), ran tests over a 10 year period to see whether [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://www.boltvault.com/women-more-likely-to-give-birth-than-men-official/feed</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>HOSPITALS OVERWHELMED FOLLOWING LIVERPOOL DEFEAT. RIB INJURIES INCREASE TENFOLD</title>
		<link>http://www.boltvault.com/hospitals-overwhelmed-following-liverpool-defeat-rib-injuries-increase-tenfold</link>
		<comments>http://www.boltvault.com/hospitals-overwhelmed-following-liverpool-defeat-rib-injuries-increase-tenfold#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 14 Jan 2010 16:16:11 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Boltvault Admin</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Boltvault News]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Sports]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Dr]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[GP]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[John Bollocks]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Liverpool]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Manchester]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Premier League]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Rafa Benitez]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.boltvault.com/?p=1752</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[By our man in surgical gloves, John Bollocks.
 
Hospitals across the country have been under siege by an influx of patients complaining of rib injuries. The epidemic is said to have started shortly after the final whistle blew at Anfield as Liverpool were knocked out of the FA Cup in their replay against Reading.
 
Dr. Rick Shaw [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://www.boltvault.com/hospitals-overwhelmed-following-liverpool-defeat-rib-injuries-increase-tenfold/feed</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>ROSS ANNOUNCES NEW TV PLANS</title>
		<link>http://www.boltvault.com/ross-announces-new-tv-plans</link>
		<comments>http://www.boltvault.com/ross-announces-new-tv-plans#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 08 Jan 2010 16:22:27 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Boltvault Admin</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Boltvault News]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Celebrity]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[BBC]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Gordon Ramsay]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Jonathan Ross]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Katie Price]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Katy Perry]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Russell Brand]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Wossy]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.boltvault.com/?p=1715</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[By chief showbiz correspondent, Snooper van Minge.
Following his announcement yesterday that he was quitting the BBC after 13 years; Jonathan Ross has today announced plans for a new TV show which will also feature friend and comedian Russell Brand. Speaking to fans on his Wossy Twitter page, Ross described how his new show will feature [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://www.boltvault.com/ross-announces-new-tv-plans/feed</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>1</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>OXFORD MAN HELD ON VOYEUR CHARGES</title>
		<link>http://www.boltvault.com/oxford-man-held-on-voyeur-charges</link>
		<comments>http://www.boltvault.com/oxford-man-held-on-voyeur-charges#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 08 Jan 2010 13:05:14 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Boltvault Admin</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Boltvault News]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[John Bollocks]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Kidlington]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Oxford]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Police]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.boltvault.com/?p=1699</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[By our man twitching behind the curtains, John Bollocks.
Police were called to a house in upper crust Kidlington, Oxfordshire last night, to arrest an alleged pervert. The alarm was raised by neighbours who heard screaming emanating from a house in The Broadway area of the village. On entry to the address, police were alarmed to [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://www.boltvault.com/oxford-man-held-on-voyeur-charges/feed</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>NEW ELECTION POLICIES UNVEILED</title>
		<link>http://www.boltvault.com/new-election-policies-unveiled</link>
		<comments>http://www.boltvault.com/new-election-policies-unveiled#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 06 Jan 2010 16:21:35 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Boltvault Admin</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Boltvault News]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Politics]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Conservative]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[David Cameron]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[General Election]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Gordon Brown]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Labour]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Lib Dem]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Nick Clegg]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Policies]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Tory]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Westminster]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.boltvault.com/?p=1683</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[By our man in Westminster, John Bollocks.  
As the build up to a General Election starts to hot up, the major parties have today unveiled the policies they hope will see them elected. This morning Tory leader David Cameron told waiting journalists his party would be adopting a radical new ‘Name Calling’ policy which he [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://www.boltvault.com/new-election-policies-unveiled/feed</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>IT’S SNOW JOKE! LATEST TERROR PLOT UNCOVERED</title>
		<link>http://www.boltvault.com/it%e2%80%99s-snow-joke-latest-terror-plot-uncovered</link>
		<comments>http://www.boltvault.com/it%e2%80%99s-snow-joke-latest-terror-plot-uncovered#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 05 Jan 2010 21:08:52 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Boltvault Admin</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Boltvault News]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Ice]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Iraq]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[John Bollocks]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[MI5]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Mr. Frosty]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Muff]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Scotland]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[snow]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[terror plot]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Tit]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[weather]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.boltvault.com/?p=1662</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[By our man with his hands in a muff, John Bollocks.
MI5 has today revealed the cold snap which has seen the UK grind almost to a standstill in recent days, is the result of the latest fiendish terror plot by Islamic extremists. A spokesman for the security service, Tom Tit, claimed that a terror cell [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://www.boltvault.com/it%e2%80%99s-snow-joke-latest-terror-plot-uncovered/feed</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>NEW GOVERNMENT PLANS ON CLIMATE CHANGE ANNOUNCED &#8211; &#8216;KILL THEM ALL&#8217; SAY MINISTERS</title>
		<link>http://www.boltvault.com/new-government-plans-on-climate-change-announced-kill-them-all-say-ministers</link>
		<comments>http://www.boltvault.com/new-government-plans-on-climate-change-announced-kill-them-all-say-ministers#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 11 Nov 2009 10:50:53 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Boltvault Admin</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Politics]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[carbon footprint]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[CO2 emissions]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Selina Clownspocket]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Westminster]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.boltvault.com/?p=1480</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[By our woman in Westminster, Selina Clownspocket.
The government has today announced revolutionary new plans to cut CO2 emissions and reduce the UK’s carbon footprint. Following a two-year study by the University of Leamington Spa, Government ministers have revealed that a cull of old people and cows will begin in 2010 in an attempt to reduce [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://www.boltvault.com/new-government-plans-on-climate-change-announced-kill-them-all-say-ministers/feed</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>EXCLUSIVE! JEDWARD IN CAN’T SING SHOCK</title>
		<link>http://www.boltvault.com/exclusive-jedward-in-can%e2%80%99t-sing-shock</link>
		<comments>http://www.boltvault.com/exclusive-jedward-in-can%e2%80%99t-sing-shock#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 03 Nov 2009 08:51:52 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Boltvault Admin</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Celebrity]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Jedward]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[John and Edward]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[X Factor twins]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.boltvault.com/?p=1465</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[By our man with a slack jaw and even slacker morals, Snooper van Minge
Hit ITV talent show the X Factor has been plunged into turmoil today as shocking revelations came to light amid claims that Irish twins John and Edward cannot sing. The pair who have consistently been the best performers in the live shows [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://www.boltvault.com/exclusive-jedward-in-can%e2%80%99t-sing-shock/feed</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>BUM&#8217;S THE WORD &#8211; LABOUR ANNOUNCES NEW PLANS TO TACKLE SINGLE MUM&#8217;S</title>
		<link>http://www.boltvault.com/bums-the-word-labour-announces-new-plans-to-tackle-single-mums</link>
		<comments>http://www.boltvault.com/bums-the-word-labour-announces-new-plans-to-tackle-single-mums#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 02 Nov 2009 11:00:40 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Boltvault Admin</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Boltvault News]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Politics]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Andy Burnham]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Britain]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[bum tricks]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[chav]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[chutney locker]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[dirt box]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[John Bollocks]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Labour]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Leeds]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Liverpool]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[marmite motorway]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[NHS]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[pregnancy]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[shell suit]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[soaps]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.boltvault.com/?p=1723</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[By our man in Westminster, John Bollocks.
Health Secretary Andy Burnham today announced how Labour plans to tackle the mounting issue of unmarried mothers. In a radical new initiative, Mr. Burnham has called for the introduction of anal sex as an alternative method of contraception in an attempt to reduce pregnancy rates among women aged between [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://www.boltvault.com/bums-the-word-labour-announces-new-plans-to-tackle-single-mums/feed</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>X-POSED! X FACTOR TWINS SECRET DAD REVEALED</title>
		<link>http://www.boltvault.com/x-posed-x-factor-twins-scret-dad-revealed</link>
		<comments>http://www.boltvault.com/x-posed-x-factor-twins-scret-dad-revealed#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 30 Oct 2009 14:47:15 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Boltvault Admin</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Boltvault News]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Snooper van Minge]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Vanilla Ice]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[x factor]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[X Factor twins]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.boltvault.com/?p=1459</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[By our man aghast, Snooper van Minge
As if the country wasn’t talking about them enough, shock new revelations about X Factor twins Jonathan and Edward look set to have tongues wagging even more. Startling new evidence has come to light which has revealed the twins are in fact the secret love children of 90’s rapper, [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://www.boltvault.com/x-posed-x-factor-twins-scret-dad-revealed/feed</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>2</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>MCINTYRE UNDER INVESTIGATION &#8211; ‘COMIC’ TO FACE TRADE DESCRIPTION ENQUIRY</title>
		<link>http://www.boltvault.com/mcintyre-under-investigation-%e2%80%98comic%e2%80%99-to-face-trade-description-enquiry</link>
		<comments>http://www.boltvault.com/mcintyre-under-investigation-%e2%80%98comic%e2%80%99-to-face-trade-description-enquiry#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 30 Oct 2009 07:00:43 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Boltvault Admin</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Celebrity]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[comedian]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[fast-talking]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[funny]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Irritating]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Michael McIntyre]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.boltvault.com/?p=1454</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[By Boltvault Showbiz reporter, Snooper van Minge.
Irritating, fast-talking, slanty-eyed, pink shirt-wearing twat Michael McIntyre was today at the centre of an investigation by Trading Standards officers after it emerged he was attempting to portray himself as ‘funny’ and travelling the UK ‘impersonating a comedian’.
The investigation follows a complaint by Swindon resident Mr. Bert Fraggle who [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://www.boltvault.com/mcintyre-under-investigation-%e2%80%98comic%e2%80%99-to-face-trade-description-enquiry/feed</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Bolt In New Sprint Sensation – Accomplishes Time Travel Feat</title>
		<link>http://www.boltvault.com/bolt-in-new-sprint-sensation-%e2%80%93-accomplishes-time-travel-feat</link>
		<comments>http://www.boltvault.com/bolt-in-new-sprint-sensation-%e2%80%93-accomplishes-time-travel-feat#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 18 Aug 2009 10:08:52 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Boltvault Admin</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Sports]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Athletics]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Beijing]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Olympic]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Usain Bolt]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Wilf Kettle]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.boltvault.com/?p=1221</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[By our man at the track, Wilf Kettle
Usain Bolt has amazed the Athletics world again this morning by using his unbelievable speed to actually travel through time. It seems that after winning Olympic Gold last Summer in Beijing, a team of top scientists have been working with the Jamaican sprinter to see exactly what his [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://www.boltvault.com/bolt-in-new-sprint-sensation-%e2%80%93-accomplishes-time-travel-feat/feed</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Warnock &amp; Jordan to Take Ball Home – Not Playing Anymore</title>
		<link>http://www.boltvault.com/warnock-jordan-to-take-ball-home-%e2%80%93-not-playing-anymore</link>
		<comments>http://www.boltvault.com/warnock-jordan-to-take-ball-home-%e2%80%93-not-playing-anymore#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 17 Aug 2009 14:33:02 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Boltvault Admin</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Boltvault News]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Crystal Palace]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Football]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Neil Warnock]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Simon Jordan]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Wilf Kettle]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.boltvault.com/?p=1210</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[By Boltvault’s Chief Football Correspondent, Wilf Kettle.
Crystal Palace Manager Neil Warnock and his Chairman Simon Jordan have today threatened to take their ball home and not let anyone else play following a disallowed goal in their game at Bristol City at the weekend. The pair who are also considering not letting anyone play with their [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://www.boltvault.com/warnock-jordan-to-take-ball-home-%e2%80%93-not-playing-anymore/feed</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Olympic Boxing Boost – “Tissue-tastic” says Kleenex</title>
		<link>http://www.boltvault.com/olympic-boxing-boost-%e2%80%93-%e2%80%9ctissue-tastic%e2%80%9d-says-kleenex</link>
		<comments>http://www.boltvault.com/olympic-boxing-boost-%e2%80%93-%e2%80%9ctissue-tastic%e2%80%9d-says-kleenex#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 14 Aug 2009 14:28:13 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Boltvault Admin</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Sports]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[2012 Olympics]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Greg Wad]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Kleenex]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Women’s Boxing]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.boltvault.com/?p=1202</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[By Boltvault Business Analyst Greg Wad

Tissue giants Kleenex are reportedly in line for a bumper pay day after Women’s Boxing was confirmed as an event for London’s 2012 Olympics this week. A spokesman for the company claimed the move was directly linked to the upsurge in masturbation likely to ensue as scantily clad women get [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://www.boltvault.com/olympic-boxing-boost-%e2%80%93-%e2%80%9ctissue-tastic%e2%80%9d-says-kleenex/feed</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>New Cancer Shock – Being Alive Increases Risk</title>
		<link>http://www.boltvault.com/new-cancer-shock-%e2%80%93-being-alive-increases-risk</link>
		<comments>http://www.boltvault.com/new-cancer-shock-%e2%80%93-being-alive-increases-risk#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 11 Aug 2009 11:00:57 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Boltvault Admin</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Boltvault News]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[cancer]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[cigarettes]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Dr Quimm]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[sunbeds]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.boltvault.com/?p=1184</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Special report by Boltvault physician, Dr. Julian Quimm.
Coming hot on the heels of the announcement this morning that an increase in oral cancer has been linked somewhat tenuously to alcohol, scientists at the privately funded Bob Cratchett Biolabs have today confirmed that not being dead can increase the risk of contracting cancer in some form [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://www.boltvault.com/new-cancer-shock-%e2%80%93-being-alive-increases-risk/feed</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>1</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Public Warned of Sunbed Terror – “They Are Out There Watching” Say Police</title>
		<link>http://www.boltvault.com/public-warned-of-sunbed-terror-%e2%80%93-%e2%80%9cthey-are-out-there-watching%e2%80%9d-say-police</link>
		<comments>http://www.boltvault.com/public-warned-of-sunbed-terror-%e2%80%93-%e2%80%9cthey-are-out-there-watching%e2%80%9d-say-police#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 30 Jul 2009 07:30:29 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Boltvault Admin</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Boltvault News]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[angry]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[John Bollocks]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[sunbeds]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.boltvault.com/?p=1163</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[By our man on the front line, John Bollocks.
Police have today warned the public to remain vigilant after gangs of angry young sunbeds took to the streets following accusations they were “more dangerous than tobacco”. The gangs have caused havoc in precincts and leisure centres up and down the country, destroying property and attacking innocent [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://www.boltvault.com/public-warned-of-sunbed-terror-%e2%80%93-%e2%80%9cthey-are-out-there-watching%e2%80%9d-say-police/feed</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Met Office Wrong Shocker – “Oops” says spokesman</title>
		<link>http://www.boltvault.com/met-office-wrong-shocker-%e2%80%93-%e2%80%9coops%e2%80%9d-says-spokesman</link>
		<comments>http://www.boltvault.com/met-office-wrong-shocker-%e2%80%93-%e2%80%9coops%e2%80%9d-says-spokesman#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 29 Jul 2009 18:09:29 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Boltvault Admin</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Boltvault News]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[John Bollocks]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Met Office]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[weather]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.boltvault.com/?p=1155</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[By our man in a cagoule, John Bollocks
Its official, the Met Office cannot predict the weather. In a shock announcement this morning the boffins, who for decades have tried in vain to predict rain or shine, finally admitted they were a shower of shit. Having previously predicted a “barbeque summer”, the Met Office changed their [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://www.boltvault.com/met-office-wrong-shocker-%e2%80%93-%e2%80%9coops%e2%80%9d-says-spokesman/feed</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>City announce latest bid</title>
		<link>http://www.boltvault.com/city-announce-latest-bid</link>
		<comments>http://www.boltvault.com/city-announce-latest-bid#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 28 Jul 2009 11:08:52 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Boltvault Admin</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Sports]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Football]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Manchester City]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Mark Hughes]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Premier League]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Wilf Kettle]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.boltvault.com/?p=1146</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[By Boltvault’s Chief Football correspondent, Wilf Kettle.

Big spending Manchester City are set to stun the football world yet again in this week as they continue in their attempts to buy the Premier League title. Sources at Eastlands have sensationally revealed that the City hierarchy are planning an audacious bid to sign the Brazilian, Italian and [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://www.boltvault.com/city-announce-latest-bid/feed</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>DRUGS, HOOKERS AND BOOZE &#8211; WHAT HAPPENED NEXT TO THE CADBURY&#8217;S GORILLA</title>
		<link>http://www.boltvault.com/drugs-hookers-and-booze-what-happened-next-to-the-cadburys-gorilla</link>
		<comments>http://www.boltvault.com/drugs-hookers-and-booze-what-happened-next-to-the-cadburys-gorilla#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 20 Jul 2009 20:10:49 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Boltvault Admin</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Boltvault News]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Cadbury]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Dave Skelton]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Gorilla]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Snooper van Minge]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.boltvault.com/?p=1092</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[By our man with a large banana, Snooper van Minge
 
He was the Gorilla with the world at his feet. A national TV star who wowed the nation with his drumming abilities but now sadly, that is a distant memory for chocolate bar front man Dave Skelton. For now instead of performing in front of sell-out [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://www.boltvault.com/drugs-hookers-and-booze-what-happened-next-to-the-cadburys-gorilla/feed</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>1</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Grimsby Man Scoffs at Scientist Sperm Creation Claims – “Piss-Easy” claims layabout</title>
		<link>http://www.boltvault.com/grimsby-man-scoffs-at-scientist-sperm-creation-claims-%e2%80%93-%e2%80%9cpiss-easy%e2%80%9d-claims-layabout</link>
		<comments>http://www.boltvault.com/grimsby-man-scoffs-at-scientist-sperm-creation-claims-%e2%80%93-%e2%80%9cpiss-easy%e2%80%9d-claims-layabout#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 08 Jul 2009 12:05:38 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Boltvault Admin</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Boltvault News]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Grimsby]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Newcastle]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Peter Petriedish]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[scientists]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[sperm]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.boltvault.com/?p=1064</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Report by Boltvault Science editor, Peter Petriedish
A man from Grimsby has poured scorn on the revelations that scientists in Newcastle have successfully created human sperm, by claiming he’s “been doing that for years”. Steve Jenkins, 29, an unemployed kitchen-fitter claims the “world first” as described by the boffins is nothing of the kind.
“Listen, I’ve been [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://www.boltvault.com/grimsby-man-scoffs-at-scientist-sperm-creation-claims-%e2%80%93-%e2%80%9cpiss-easy%e2%80%9d-claims-layabout/feed</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>New Images of Jackson &#8216;Ghost&#8217; Released!</title>
		<link>http://www.boltvault.com/new-images-of-jackson-ghost-released</link>
		<comments>http://www.boltvault.com/new-images-of-jackson-ghost-released#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 06 Jul 2009 13:49:08 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Boltvault Admin</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Boltvault News]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[ghostly]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Michael Jackson]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Snooper van Minge]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.boltvault.com/?p=1047</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[By our man covered in ectoplasm, Snooper van Minge
New images have been released of the ghostly figure recently spotted by a film crew inside the former home of Michael Jackson. CNN footage showed a mysterious shadow, believed by some to be the King of Pop, as they filmed inside the Neverland Ranch over the weekend. [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://www.boltvault.com/new-images-of-jackson-ghost-released/feed</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>1</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>NORTHERN MONKEY ARRESTED OVER BUM TRICKERY! &#8220;I FEEL VIOLATED&#8221; SAYS IT BOFFIN</title>
		<link>http://www.boltvault.com/northern-monkey-arrested-over-bum-trickery-i-feel-violated-says-it-boffin</link>
		<comments>http://www.boltvault.com/northern-monkey-arrested-over-bum-trickery-i-feel-violated-says-it-boffin#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 01 Jul 2009 09:37:59 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Boltvault Admin</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Boltvault News]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[John Bollocks]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[utter carnage]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.boltvault.com/?p=1005</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[By our man with the Swarfega, John Bollocks.
A man was in custody this morning after Police raided a house in the sleepy village of Chinnor in Oxfordshire. Concerned neighbors raised the alarm after a series of distressed screams were heard from within the property. Upon entry to the house, officers were greeted by a scene [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://www.boltvault.com/northern-monkey-arrested-over-bum-trickery-i-feel-violated-says-it-boffin/feed</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>EXCLUSIVE! “Cars better than feet – can get you there quicker” claims report</title>
		<link>http://www.boltvault.com/exclusive-%e2%80%9ccars-better-than-feet-%e2%80%93-can-get-you-there-quicker%e2%80%9d-claims-report</link>
		<comments>http://www.boltvault.com/exclusive-%e2%80%9ccars-better-than-feet-%e2%80%93-can-get-you-there-quicker%e2%80%9d-claims-report#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 30 Jun 2009 19:09:49 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Boltvault Admin</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Boltvault News]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[British Association of Car Manufacturers]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Cars]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[John Bollocks]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[walking]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.boltvault.com/?p=1024</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[By our man at the wheel, John Bollocks.
Cars can get you to your destination quicker than so-called cheaper alternatives such as walking – FACT! That’s the shocking revelation in a new report issued today which claims to have proven unequivocally that cars really can get you there faster.
The report commissioned by the British Association of [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://www.boltvault.com/exclusive-%e2%80%9ccars-better-than-feet-%e2%80%93-can-get-you-there-quicker%e2%80%9d-claims-report/feed</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>RESIDENTS STUNNED AT SORDID SEX REVELATIONS.</title>
		<link>http://www.boltvault.com/residents-stunned-at-sordid-sex-revelations</link>
		<comments>http://www.boltvault.com/residents-stunned-at-sordid-sex-revelations#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 30 Jun 2009 16:10:29 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Boltvault Admin</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Boltvault News]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Aylesbury]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[John Bollocks]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[sexual]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Watermead]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.boltvault.com/?p=1020</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[“RANDOM STINKFINGERING RIFE” SAYS POLICE CHIEF. Report by John Bollocks.
The residents of a well to do area of Aylesbury, Bucks were said to be shocked yesterday, after a Police raid on a flat in the upper crust Watermead area of the town revealed a series of sordid sexual practices. The owner of the aforementioned abode [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://www.boltvault.com/residents-stunned-at-sordid-sex-revelations/feed</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Murray injury scare – Star rushed to Hospital</title>
		<link>http://www.boltvault.com/murray-injury-scare-%e2%80%93-star-rushed-to-hospital</link>
		<comments>http://www.boltvault.com/murray-injury-scare-%e2%80%93-star-rushed-to-hospital#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 30 Jun 2009 11:54:58 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Boltvault Admin</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Sports]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Andrew Murray]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Snooper van Minge]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Wimbledon]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.boltvault.com/?p=1014</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[By our man with his balls in his hands, Snooper van Minge
There were fears this morning that Andrew Murray’s Wimbledon dream could be over after the tennis ace was rushed to hospital in the early hours. While Murray Mania swept across the country in the wake of last night’s defeat of Stanistas Wawrinka, the young [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://www.boltvault.com/murray-injury-scare-%e2%80%93-star-rushed-to-hospital/feed</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Davina McCall bursts own ear drums – ‘Star’ hospitalised</title>
		<link>http://www.boltvault.com/davina-mccall-bursts-own-ear-drums-%e2%80%93-%e2%80%98star%e2%80%99-hospitalised</link>
		<comments>http://www.boltvault.com/davina-mccall-bursts-own-ear-drums-%e2%80%93-%e2%80%98star%e2%80%99-hospitalised#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sun, 21 Jun 2009 21:50:47 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Boltvault Admin</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Celebrity]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Big Brother]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Davina McCall]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[shitting dog]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Snooper van Minge]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.boltvault.com/?p=898</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[By our man who couldn’t give a toss, Snooper van Minge

Big Brother presenter and part-time foghorn Davina McCall has been admitted to hospital after bursting her own ear drums while shouting. The ‘star’ was rushed to hospital after Friday night’s show which saw some celebrity-hungry, mentally challenged freak of nature evicted from the Big Brother [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://www.boltvault.com/davina-mccall-bursts-own-ear-drums-%e2%80%93-%e2%80%98star%e2%80%99-hospitalised/feed</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>EXCLUSIVE! Susan Boyle revealed as Clarkson’s long-lost sister</title>
		<link>http://www.boltvault.com/exclusive-susan-boyle-revealed-as-clarkson%e2%80%99s-long-lost-sister</link>
		<comments>http://www.boltvault.com/exclusive-susan-boyle-revealed-as-clarkson%e2%80%99s-long-lost-sister#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sat, 20 Jun 2009 12:28:45 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Boltvault Admin</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Boltvault News]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Britain’s Got Talent]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Jeremy Clarkson]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Susan Boyle]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.boltvault.com/?p=869</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[By our man wide-eyed and open-mouthed, Snooper van Minge.
The showbiz world was rocked to its very core last night by the announcement that Britain’s Got Talent star Susan Boyle is the long-lost sister of outspoken journalist and TV presenter, Jeremy Clarkson.
It seems the real reason for Ms.Boyle recently missing a show on the Britain’s Got [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://www.boltvault.com/exclusive-susan-boyle-revealed-as-clarkson%e2%80%99s-long-lost-sister/feed</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Ronaldo to Real in £80m deal</title>
		<link>http://www.boltvault.com/ronaldo-to-real-in-80m-deal</link>
		<comments>http://www.boltvault.com/ronaldo-to-real-in-80m-deal#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 11 Jun 2009 11:07:03 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Russell</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Sports]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Christiano Ronaldo]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Manchester United]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Wilf Kettle]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[£80 million]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.boltvault.com/?p=762</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[By Boltvault’s chief sports correspondent, Wilf Kettle.
Manchester United have today confirmed they have accepted a bid of £80 million for Portuguese winger Christiano Ronaldo. The greasy, sulky, cheating little twat has repeatedly requested a move during his time at United but, due to a recent increase in child-like tantrum throwing and Real Madrid’s gross over-estimation [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://www.boltvault.com/ronaldo-to-real-in-80m-deal/feed</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Villagers in dive for cover as fireball hits</title>
		<link>http://www.boltvault.com/villagers-in-dive-for-cover-as-fireball-hits</link>
		<comments>http://www.boltvault.com/villagers-in-dive-for-cover-as-fireball-hits#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 08 Jun 2009 07:00:02 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Boltvault Admin</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Boltvault News]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Buckinghamshire]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Haddenham]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[John Bollocks]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Mark Stow]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.boltvault.com/?p=721</guid>
		<description><![CDATA["I only tried to say hello" says local youth.
Report by our man with a yellow helmet, John Bollocks
Residents of the sleepy Buckinghamshire village of Haddenham, enjoying a quiet lunchtime walk or a sociable pint of real ale, were soon rushing for cover as an explosion at a petrol station tore through their picturesque village. The [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://www.boltvault.com/villagers-in-dive-for-cover-as-fireball-hits/feed</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Sir Alan Sugar in a right Carry On</title>
		<link>http://www.boltvault.com/sir-alan-sugar-in-a-right-carry-on</link>
		<comments>http://www.boltvault.com/sir-alan-sugar-in-a-right-carry-on#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 05 Jun 2009 12:33:51 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Boltvault Admin</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Celebrity]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Apprentice]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Sir Alan Sugar]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Snooper van Minge]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.boltvault.com/?p=714</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[By our man under the boardroom table, Snooper van Minge.
The final of this years Apprentice show has been thrown into doubt after allegations of sexual harassment by the two remaining contestants. Finalists Kate Walsh and Yasmina Siadatan were said to be shocked and appalled by the behaviour of Sir Alan Sugar who after the pair [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://www.boltvault.com/sir-alan-sugar-in-a-right-carry-on/feed</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>New twist in search for Lost flight</title>
		<link>http://www.boltvault.com/new-twist-in-search-for-lost-flight</link>
		<comments>http://www.boltvault.com/new-twist-in-search-for-lost-flight#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 05 Jun 2009 11:48:14 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Boltvault Admin</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Boltvault News]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[lost]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.boltvault.com/?p=700</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Investigators into the missing Air France flight which disappeared on Monday have released details of a new line of enquiry. Officials for the airline today announced they were on the hunt for a mysterious island which has the capability to relocate at a given time and on which they believe the flight may have crash [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://www.boltvault.com/new-twist-in-search-for-lost-flight/feed</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Exceedingly Poor Cakes</title>
		<link>http://www.boltvault.com/exceedingly-poor-cakes</link>
		<comments>http://www.boltvault.com/exceedingly-poor-cakes#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 14 May 2009 06:35:04 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Boltvault Admin</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Boltvault News]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Mr. Kipling]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Trade Descriptions Act]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.boltvault.com/?p=613</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[A Grimbsy man claims he is "fighting the good fight" by taking on the fiscal might of renowned cake manufacturer Mr. Kipling. Lionel Doorknob, 69, a retired hamster farmer is suing the purveyor of French Fancies under the Trade Descriptions Act following an incident at his home last month,
Mr. Doorknob claims he brought a Mr. [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://www.boltvault.com/exceedingly-poor-cakes/feed</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>1</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>United Duo In Champions League Blow</title>
		<link>http://www.boltvault.com/united-duo-in-champions-league-blow</link>
		<comments>http://www.boltvault.com/united-duo-in-champions-league-blow#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 13 May 2009 07:54:51 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Boltvault Admin</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Sports]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Champions League]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Christiano Ronaldo]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Manchester United]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.boltvault.com/?p=602</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Hot on the heels of last weeks Champions League controversy, Manchester United duo Wayne Rooney and Christiano Ronaldo are the latest players set to face the music after pictures were released of the pair doing more than simply bonding as team mates.
Our exclusive picture shows the pair celebrating their 4-1 win over Arsenal by apparently [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://www.boltvault.com/united-duo-in-champions-league-blow/feed</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>1</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Peter &amp; Katie : The Split Which Effects A Nation</title>
		<link>http://www.boltvault.com/peter-katie-the-split-which-effects-a-nation</link>
		<comments>http://www.boltvault.com/peter-katie-the-split-which-effects-a-nation#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 12 May 2009 12:13:03 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Russell</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Celebrity]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Katie Price]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Peter Andre]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[split]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.boltvault.com/?p=573</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[By Boltvault showbiz reporter Snooper Van Minge
The showbiz world was plunged into deep, dark depression last night with the devastating news that pop has-been Peter Andre and balloon-breasted bimbo Katie Price are to end the tumultuous, yet heart-warming marriage which has captured the imagination of a nation.
For reasons as yet unknown, 90’s ‘pop star’ Andre [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://www.boltvault.com/peter-katie-the-split-which-effects-a-nation/feed</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Champions League of Villains</title>
		<link>http://www.boltvault.com/champions-league-of-villains</link>
		<comments>http://www.boltvault.com/champions-league-of-villains#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 07 May 2009 14:11:07 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Russell</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Sports]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Chelsea]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Football]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Frank Lampard]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.boltvault.com/?p=521</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[UEFA today moved to dismiss rumours that referee Tom Henning Ovrebo who officiated over last night’s controversial Champions League semi-final is in fact a Barcelona fan. Ovrebo, 99, incensed players and fans alike with a string of dubious decisions which contributed towards Chelsea’s eventual exit from the competition following a 93rd minute equaliser by Barca’s [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://www.boltvault.com/champions-league-of-villains/feed</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
	</channel>
</rss>
