The must have cleaning product of the year

Fed up with the sight of unsightly stains on humanity? Want to say goodbye to nasty irritations? Unable to remove those annoying Grimes from your TV every Saturday night? Well look no further! The boffins at Bolvault Industry in association with Cillit... (more...)

NEW! The Baultvault Babysitter

Yes that's right folks, those boffins at Boltvault Engineering have done it again. In a joint venture with the makers of Stella Artois, the beer that's reassuringly expensive, we have come up with the answer to all your problems at a price that suits... (more...)

The Boltvault Klegaway – can you live without it?

No matter whether it's a first date, an interview or a TV debut, as the old adage goes, you only get one chance to make a first impression. So, if the situation is this important the last thing you need is to be suffering with klegnuts. In the past, countless... (more...)

NEW! from Boltvault Ads

That's right folks; the same team that brought you Boltvault Bog Roll now offers you this unique receptacle to wipe away those wanking worries! Ergonomically designed for the left or right-handed wrister, the Wank-Away Masturbation System's pioneering... (more...)

Oinksip Max – Swine flu

Chemist’s across the UK have reported a massive surge in sales of a new remedy for the current bout of Swine Flu. It seems the mass panic sweeping the globe has sent consumers rushing to their nearest pharmacy in search of a new wonder drug, Oinksip... (more...)

Boltvault Bog Roll

When you go for a shite, there are three vital ingredients you need. A bog, Suitable reading material and A reliable toilet tissue That's where new Boltvault Bog Roll comes in. No matter what your crack size and no matter what the consistency of your... (more...)