Troy - the man, the legend.

Troy – the man, the legend.

 

Hi guys, Troy the 70’s Porn Star here with more advice on how you too can become the ultimate stud like me, oh yeah!

Today’s lesson – The Back Wank.

OK guys, the net time you go back to a chick’s house, end up in bed with her and nothing happens (something which has ever happened to me by the way) whether because she’s a bit of a tease or she’s on the blob, this move is a way to exact your revenge.

Here’s how it works; lull your victim into a false sense of security by cuddling her and being understanding of her reasons for not putting out. Then, wait until the bitch has turned over and gone to sleep, probably thinking she has got you just where she wants you. Of course, you know better buddy.

Now, still sporting your hard on, pull one off, preferably while thinking about her mum or her sister or both together. Then, instead of blowing your load over your stomach and having to mop it up; ready, aim, fire! Chuck your muck all over her back. No worrying about what to use to mop it up; no worrying about matting up your pubes, oh no. You can just do what we all love to do; roll over, fart and go to sleep, a happy and contended grin on your face.

But here’s the genius part; if she a) catches you mid-stroke or b) challenges you in the morning as to why she’s stuck to the sheets and has a back like a burns victim, you can just tell her you lost control because she’s so fit and you wanted her so badly! There was nothing you could do! Before you know it you’ll be bollock deep and asking her “Who’s the daddy?” oh yeah!

Here endeth the lesson, the rest is down to you guys.

The Back Wank – it’s the way forward!

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