Boltvault presents…Scousers and Scots. We all know the Scots are tight and Scousers are thieves. Here’s what happens when you mix the two….

Sean Connery was interviewed on a chat show, and bragged that despite being in his 70’s, he could still have sex 3 times a night. Cilla Black, who was also a guest, looked intrigued.

After the show, Cilla said, “Sean, if I’m not bein too forward, I’d luv to ‘ave sex with yer. Lets go back to my ‘ouse, we could ‘ave a lorra lorra fun. So they went back to her place.

After a couple of drinks they went off to bed and had an hour of mad passionate sex together. Afterwards, Sean says, “If you think that was good, let me shleep for half an hour, and we can have better shex. But while I’m shleeping, hold my balls in your left hand and ma willie in your right hand”. Cilla looks a bit perplexed, but says “Okay”.

He sleeps for half an hour, awakens, and they have even better sex than before. Then Sean says, “Cilla, that was wonderful. But if you let me shleep for an hour, we can have the besht shex yet. You’ll have to…….” “I know Sean. Yer want me to ‘old onto yer bat ‘n balls again. No problem hun”. Cilla complies with the routine.

The results this time are absolutely mind blowing. Once it’s all over, they have a drink, Sean lights a cigarette and Cilla asks “Sean, tell me, dis ‘oldin yer balls in one hand and yer willie in de other – does it really stimulate yer dat much?” Sean replies, “No, not at all Cilla, but the last time I shlept with a scouser, the bitch stole ma wallet!”

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