Exceedingly Poor Cakes
A Grimbsy man claims he is "fighting the good fight" by taking on the fiscal might of renowned cake manufacturer Mr. Kipling. Lionel Doorknob, 69, a retired hamster farmer is suing the purveyor of French Fancies under the Trade Descriptions Act following... (more...)
United Duo In Champions League Blow
United Blow Out Hot on the heels of last weeks Champions League controversy, Manchester United duo Wayne Rooney and Christiano Ronaldo are the latest players set to face the music after pictures were released of the pair doing more than simply bonding... (more...)
Peter & Katie : The Split Which Effects A Nation
By Boltvault showbiz reporter Snooper Van Minge The showbiz world was plunged into deep, dark depression last night with the devastating news that pop has-been Peter Andre and balloon-breasted bimbo Katie Price are to end the tumultuous, yet heart-warming... (more...)
The Test Every That Man Should Take
That's right fella's. if there's ever been any doubt at all that you might not be a red-blooded, chick-loving, boob-worshipping bloke, you should take the test below! ... (more...)
Coffee Mate and more…..
Every day, a male co-worker walks up very close to a lady at the coffee machine, inhales a deep breath of air, and tells her that her hair smells nice. After a week of this, the woman can't stand it anymore. She takes her complaint to a supervisor in... (more...)
Champions League of Villains
Tom Henning Ovrebo UEFA today moved to dismiss rumours that referee Tom Henning Ovrebo who officiated over last night’s controversial Champions League semi-final is in fact a Barcelona fan. Ovrebo, 99, incensed players and fans alike with a string of... (more...)
NEW! from Boltvault Ads
That's right folks; the same team that brought you Boltvault Bog Roll now offers you this unique receptacle to wipe away those wanking worries! Ergonomically designed for the left or right-handed wrister, the Wank-Away Masturbation System's pioneering... (more...)
Rascal Rabbit
Dear Dr. Quimm, I have an embarrassing problem. A couple of days ago I was playing with my pet rabbit (the battery operated variety) when I got a bit carried away. I inserted the the aforementioned item so far it became irretrievable. The problem is that... (more...)
The Back Wank
Troy - the man, the legend. Hi guys, Troy the 70's Porn Star here with more advice on how you too can become the ultimate stud like me, oh yeah! Today is lesson number 2 - The Back Wank. OK guys, the net time you go back to a chick's house, end up... (more...)
Hairy Bush
Dear Dr. Quimm, I met this bloke once in a pub and we ended up back at my place. Unfortunately after he had rubbinsed me to get my juices flowing he pulled down my kecks and his previously magnificent tumescence dwindled to something resembling an elastic... (more...)
Poo’s in trouble now? Toilet tomfoolery ends in tears.
Report by our man in marigolds, John Bollocks. Male members of staff at an accountancy firm are counting the cost of their unruly bottoms after their toilet gave up the ghost and exploded. Men at Mi5er Accountancy in Guildford, Surrey excelled so much... (more...)
Princess
Meet naughty Essex girl Princess. Princess has done various types of modelling including topless, nude and catwalk but says her dream assignment would be modeling at the Playboy mansion!!!! Her ideal night out would be dancing, drinking and living it... (more...)
Top wife gags
My wife sat down on the couch next to me as I was flipping channels. She asked, 'What's on TV?' I said, 'Dust.' And then the fight started... My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary. She said, 'I want something shiny that... (more...)